How to Prepare for Biblical Marriage as a Christian Woman

December 7, 2022

A man facing away from the camera and a woman holding on to his arm smiling at the camera with the words "How to Prepare for Biblical marriage as a Christian Woman."

As Christians, we hold marriage to a much higher standard than the world does. The world gives a lot of marriage advice. But, the reality is that almost none of that advice is grounded in Biblical truth. Because of that, it can be tricky to filter through all the noise to find sound advice when preparing for marriage. I’ve done a lot of learning in my own engagement, so I’m here to tell you how to prepare for Biblical marriage as a Christian woman.

There’s so many different pieces of advice people give to someone who is preparing for marriage. Because the world has such a vastly different opinion of what marriage is, this advice is usually far from the truth. The world thinks marriage can be between two men or two women. It also thinks that marriage is between two people who have the same roles, each giving fifty-percent. This is far from the truth. The Bible says that marriage is between one man and one woman. It also says that the two have different, but complimenting roles within the marriage.

How do we as Christian women filter through all of the bad advice in order to determine what is true and will actually be helpful in Christian marriage? How do we prepare for Biblical marriage as a Christian woman? Let’s dive in.

Go to the bible

Before we begin, we have to know what exactly we’re preparing for. The only place that tells us the truth about marriage is the Word of God, so we first must go there. It’s also important to look to the Bible to learn how we are to act as women and wives, and even to get a good understanding of what a godly husband is as women.

It’s impossible to prepare for something well if you have an incorrect understanding of what you’re preparing for.

Read this post of mine where I go through the basics of what a marriage is according to the Bible. And, more importantly, here are some of the best books and passages that tell us what God’s expectations are for marriage, and for men and women:

Pray about it

Pray that the Holy Spirit would convict you about the areas of your life that you need to work on before marriage, and that He would reveal to you the counsel and knowledge that you need. This may come in the form of a Bible passage, book, or sermon, or it may even come through another person’s words or an opportunity to learn. Nobody knows what you need more than God does. If you ask Him, He will convict you whether you like it or not.

Learn from others

It’s great to listen to the advice of other, more experienced husbands and wives, but we need to make sure what they’re teaching is correct. So, once we know what the Bible says a Biblical marriage and wife is, we can start to decipher between good and bad marriage advice. Once we find the good stuff, we can begin to learn and apply that to our own lives. A little while back, I shared this list of the best books on Christian marriage. I shared a lot of books in that post, so if you don’t want to read all of them, here are the ones I think are the best:

The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
For a Glory and a Covering by Douglas Wilson
No Mere Mortals: Marriage for People Who Will Live Forever by Toby Sumpter
The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace and Tamara Adams
The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman by Nancy Wilson
Virtuous: A Study for Ladies of Every Age by Nancy Wilson
Eve in Exile and the Restoration of Femininity by Rebekah Merkle
Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes
Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliott
The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective by Dr. Stuart Scott
Federal Husband by Douglas Wilson
How to Exasperate Your Wife by Douglas Wilson
Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes
His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Jr. Harley

Seek counsel from others

If there are couples that you greatly admire and look up to, go to them yourself for advice. You just need to be careful to make sure that they are actually someone you want advice from. Does their marriage align with what the Bible says marriage is and should be? Do their lives bear good fruit that you want your lives and marriage to bear? If they do, then there’s no harm in going to them for advice as long as both of you are on board. However, always view their advice through a Biblical lens. Just because they bear Biblical fruit doesn’t mean all of their advice will be Biblical. Weigh it against the Word of God because it is the ultimate authority of truth.

take a class

Most preachers require pre-marital counseling before the wedding, but go beyond that. Take a class offered by your church or online by someone who has sound teaching. Most of the time these will be led by Pastors who are trained in theology and Scripture. They know and understand the Bible better than most people and so will be able to help you decipher it and truly understand what it says about marriage.

talk to each other

One of the most important things you can do is simply to talk to one another. Ask each other important questions. Get to know one another on a deep and intimate level. Talk about what your expectations are and get on the same page. You’re becoming a team that needs to work together. A majority of the time fights and disagreements happen because of a lack of communication. Start practicing good communication habits now. Don’t just assume your husband sees all the aspects of marriage in the exact same way you do since you agree on most other things. Ask him and talk about it. Start communicating well now so you continue to do it in your marriage.

That’s all I have for today. Even though I’m not married yet, I love sharing things about marriage. Traditional family and marriage are two things I have a great passion for. They are so important, but sadly the world doesn’t see it that way. I want to change that, even if it’s just one marriage or family at a time. Thanks for reading!